Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Memory Loss, Jungle Fever, Wait Wheres Thor?!

This night starts as many of our weekends do with a little pre-game of some private stock and coke and of course monster and vodka. We drink a few while getting ready, talk for awhile and head out. We decide to just go to our usual club and see whats happening. Once there we start debating our decision, theres us three, and about 20 other people there. We know one of the bouncers so we start talking to him for awhile. About 4 rounds in we notice more people coming in so we get up and start mingling. The night moves on pretty slowly, not much going on.

We head to the bar in the back by the patio and order a few more. Now this is where Axe and mine's memory gets pretty foggy. We were flirting with this group of 3 girls, Axe was talking to a cougar or puma or whatever she would be rated, she was around 50 but looked pretty good. Her sister was talking to me, she was 28 and then there was another girl that Thor was talking to. I can remember making out with her, Axe was pulling out all the stops and trying to get the cougar to give it up to him. Thor was on his own, we have no idea what he was doing nor where he was.

Now the rest of this story is pieced together from what i can somewhat remember, and what Axe can remember.  I stumble out of the bar, and walk towards the car. I find the black Cobolt that Thor drives, or so i thought. At some point in the night Thor gave me his keys, honestly i have no recolection of that but they were in my pocket. So i find the car and hit the button, nothing. Try the key, nothing. "Is that your car, man?" A voice says behind me, "Well i thought it was..." I didnt even turn around to see who it was, it could have been anyone. So i walk away from the car and find Axe with these two black girls. Girl 1 was short and Axe was making out with her, Girl 2, from what i remember was tall and decent looking, honestly though, i have no idea what she looked like. I start talking to her and making out with her. While making out with my first black girl i hear, "Jungle fever eh?" The girl Axe was making out with was calling him her white chocolate and saying how she likes white chocolate. Girl 2 asks for my number and says she will call me later. I dont hold my breath.

Axe and I get into the car, which was actually 2 cars down from the black Cobolt i was trying to get into. We leave there and head home. So i thought.

We wake up the next day, Axe on the couch, i found my bed. No Thor. I wake Axe up and ask him if he knows where Thor is, he has no idea. I tell him that we should probably go out and find him in case hes sleeping outside the bar or something. While we were getting dressed we both notice a bag from Burger King. We just stare at each other, because, see where we live, there is no Burger King in the immediate vicinity. We find the receipt and see that its about 4 miles north of the clubs. We shake our heads and look at each other in utter disbelief. Remember Thor we head out.

We open the car and i realize theres vomit inside the car. This isnt unheard of, i have had a history of puking and driving. I have become pretty good at it. Once Axe and I were headed back home and i was in a construction zone, cones on each side, im driving 45 and puking at the same time, no swerving, nothing, not one of my prouder moments. I head back inside and get a rag and clean up my mess. Thankfully it wasnt that bad and doesnt take that long to clean up. I start asking Axe what the hell happened last night. He tells me about the black girls, which i had totally forgotten about. I bring up the Burger King and he finally starts to remember, turns out we somehow made it there, and he thinks i puked in the drive thru. I tell him we are gonna drive through to see because i dont believe him. Sure enough, we find the Burger King as well as a nice pile of vomit on the cement, right in front of the speaker. God only knows what the person behind the speaker though when she heard that.

Axe decides to call Thor, no answer. Finally after we drive around for awhile, he calls back. Turns out he and the first girl i was making out with along with the cougar and other friend went to the Marriott right by the club and he tried to get them to do a threesome. I can only assume that he must have pissed them off because two of them left leaving him with the 28 year old i was making out with. He wouldnt let us come to the room to get him so she must not have been that attractive, oh well. He had fun. All three of us get into the car and go out for breakfast. We all share what we remember and enjoy our breakfast.

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  1. THOR?!
    Where is that bastard?

  2. Nice read man! Keep up the good work!

  3. Ah, I can tell that this is going to be alot of drunken stories on this blog ~_~

    They would be a little easier to read probably if you'd just give em a review or 2 before posting I think.

  4. Hah very nice read, really enjoyed it!


  6. nice man!!! enjoyed reading it!!!!

  7. Haha sounds like a great time

    Following :)

  8. good post!

    My friend puked all over the windshield once, from inside, and he almost hit a guy on a bycicle...

  9. Thor sounds like one lucky bastard haha